Character: Shannon

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Alarm clock rings. Shannon pulls off her comforter and leans over to turn her alarm clock off. She sits up and looks over her shoulder at the window where the rain water is seeping in. She slowly lowers her feet to the floor and gently slips them into her fuzzy slippers. She stands up, yawning, walks over to the window and slides it shut. Across the way she sees Arinelle at the window. Longingly, she smiles, in hopes that she has forgiven her for their recent quarrel. But Shannon doesn’t even get a smile back. Sadly, she walks away from the window and to her closet. Flinging the closet doors open, she ponders what to wear. She pulls down an outfit from a hanger and thinks “perfect.” A knee length, sparkly, pink silk skirt and a long sleeve silk shirt with a tiny heart sewn onto the left shoulder. She quickly dresses and bends to the bottom of her closet and pulls out a pair of new pink and black prada heels with a heart buckle on each ankle. She buckles her heels and heads into the bathroom. She runs a brush through her mid-length chestnut hair and shakes it out, and starts on brushing her teeth. A few minutes go by and after detailed brushing, she smiles in the mirror while applying a light layer of clear lip gloss. She goes back into her room and grabs her messenger bag which was organized the night before and heads down the hallway into the kitchen. Her mother is there making her little sister’s breakfast. She kisses her mother’s cheek and opens the fridge. She scans through the fridge for a moment and pulls out a Tupperware bowl filled with sliced strawberries and grapes. She smiles at her mother and she smiles back. Shannon unzips her messenger bag and gently sets the fruit mix in, and grabs the lunch bag from the counter labeled “Shannon.” Her mother asks to give her a ride to school, but Shannon refuses and says there is too much work to do and that she can take the bus. Shannon looks over at the clock above the doorway and it reads 7:15. She checks her bag for a moment to make sure she has her house key, and she pulls out a silver heart with the words “Only God Can Judge Me” on it with an old silver cross charm, and from it is hanging the key. Feeling relieved, she drops it back into her bag. She opens the door and steps out into the rain, closing it gently behind her. She looks down at her new shoes, wondering if the rain will damage them, but decides its no big deal. She hears Arinelle’s voice calling to her and she looks up in her direction and smiles. She saw her motion for her to come over and without hesitation she runs over and hugs her like they haven’t spoken in years. They separate and climb into Arinelle’s car. Shannon gracefully steps in, and closes the door. She fastens her seatbelt making sure it’s nice and tight. She places her lunch into her bag, noticing the rain, she holds it more tightly. After their latest squabble, Shannon decides not to say anything. “Untitled” comes on the radio and she looks over at Arinelle, looking back they both break out into song. Waiting at the red light, Shannon looks around and it seems as if the roads weren’t as busy this morning at they usually were for such a small town. She looks down at the clock, 7:27, once she felt that the light must have turned green. Suddenly, loud squeals of tires hastily pulls Shannon’s attention away from the time and back out the window she was gazing through before. She caught sight of another car coming at them cross ways. As if time seemed to slow, breathless, Shannon beheld the horror in the eyes of the other driver as his ‘98 Tempo approached her door. She dreaded what was to come…

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Wonderful use of adjectives and description throughout the sketch! It kind of felt like we were walking through, you know, we could see it in our mind's eye. It wasn't jerky or jilting. Good job.

"Goodness is the only investment that never fails."
H.D.Thoreau http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/sahara

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