Saturday, May 5, 2008

Dear Diary,

I haven't written in a few months. As always I've been very busy. Some major trouble is going on. I screwed up big. Last Sunday, Barney saw me speaking with the drug enforcement officer. Barney thinks we are having an affair. When I came home he knocked me around and threw me into the kitchen table. Typical Sunday at the Lamb house.

This time I called the cops and Lt. O'Brien came out. You know, the cop who told me to back off and that I was in too deep. I can't back off. I vowed I would make sure that the this family would be busted even if it means I have to do it myself. After what they did to me and my family. Abducting my sister and I when we were children and attempting to murder us. The state refused to press charges. Then they scammed my mother out of my father's retirement money. Money that was to be used for college expenses. I wanted to become a law enforcement officer or an attorney.

My mother started using drugs herself buying from these people. She forgot all about me. She sent me to live with them. I was a junior in highschool at the time. That was the summer I met my future husband. Anyway they even tried to use me to deal for them. "Oh Erin, someone will be coming to pick up this brown bag. Just gve it to him. He wil give you some money. Leave the cash on the bookshelf." I was scared out of my freakin' mind. I thought should I call the cops? Would I go down for it? What if this guy pulls a gun and blows me away? Should I lie and say I don't know anything and just not give it to him, but what if he kills me? Anyway the guy never came.

I decided to marry Barney hoping to get in deeper to help the cops bust this family. Keep in mind, diary, my sister was one of them. She was married to Barney's brother Don. That means to bust Don I would have to bust my sister. Now things are more complicated. My sister is dead. Her children help make the runs for Don. Two are adults. I don't want to bust those kids. They were once such good kids. But.... Well anyway...

I married not for love but to bust a family. Barney is abusive and is heavy into drugs and alcohol. I found someone I'm interested in and who is equally interested in me but I'm in too deep.....

Well goodnight Diary,
Hopefully I will still be around to right again tomorrow
Erin